Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Beware: Deadly, Slithering Invaders

It's been several weeks since I last alerted you, my loyal readers, to any horrifying threats to our survival. Always vigilant, I now must call your attention to a story featured on the KSL news website today. Before clicking on the link below, be warned that it's guaranteed to give you the willies:

Yes, it seems hordes (four so far) of baby rattlesnakes (they're even deadlier than the adults!) are infesting a building on the campus of Weber State University. Folks, this is where I go to school! I'm there at least two days a week, and I find this situation UNACCEPTABLE.

It's really no surprise that we have a snake epidemic, because the campus is right on the foothills of some rugged mountains, and it has suddenly gotten chilly here. What I want to know is just this: What are they doing about this frightening problem? The story mentions some vague plans to bring in reptile experts and inspect the building. It doesn't say anything about immediately burning that place to the ground, along with all the surrounding structures in a 200 foot radius, which I feel would be an appropriate response.

Even more shocking is the earlier story, linked within the Weber State one, about a house in Idaho that's infested with hundreds, perhaps even thousands of snakes. What is it with these evil, venomous, legless creatures trying to take over the planet? Rise up, fellow mammals, and take back our homes, our schools, and our cities!

Note: In case it isn't obvious, I've taken a sarcastic tone for much of this post. But I do think they should burn that building.


  1. It could be worse. The building could have spiders--the kind with fat, hairy legs. *Shudder.*

  2. I, for one, welcome our slithery overlords!

  3. Get these Motherf***ing snakes out of this Motherf***ing school.

    Doesn't have the same ring to it, does it...

    They should clean out the snakes so the school is safe, but not tell the students. Almost completely guarantee no one will sleep through their classes this semester...