Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Update: New Info on the Space Junk Bombardment

Yesterday, I warned all (or is it both?) of my readers about the impending fall to Earth of an enormous satellite, an event CNN didn't seem too concerned about. I've now learned more details and can tell you there is no point in running for your lives... because the only safe place to be is ANYWHERE BUT OUR PLANET.

Utah's quaint little provincial news channel, KSL, featured a helpful story on their website today, which you should read in its entirety here:

Space Junk Expected to Hit Earth in Coming Days

It seems nobody knows where this school bus-sized hunk of destruction will touch down, at least not with any more precision than "almost anywhere on the globe." Worse yet, it will likely break into several smaller but still deadly pieces on its way down, just as I feared.

My favorite part of this story is that they contacted a guy at NASA named Mark Matney, whose job title is Orbital Debris Scientist, and even he has no idea where the satellite will hit, because it is "not behaving" (his words, not mine). Darn those pesky satellites, always refusing to eat their vegetables, leaving their room a mess, and wiping out entire cities when they plummet to Earth! What I wouldn't give for a job as a NASA scientist, with its accompanying salary, that allows me to blow off questions with "It's tumbling in ways that we can't control." This guy's expertise is needed about once every 30 years, and his answer is basically How should I know?

And everyone's been worried about a silly zombie apocalypse. You may now commence to freaking out. I think I'll go hide in my camp trailer.

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