Ask Me Anything

I’m always looking for ways to give something of value to my readers. (Not monetary value, the other kind.) I recently said to myself, “Self, why not answer their questions?” Why not indeed! I know a lot of stuff about all kinds of things. In fact, I’ve been called a super genius, but that term isn’t accurate, because I’m really more of a super-duper genius.

You can ask me about anything. Just post your questions in a comment here or email them to me at

I can’t promise to answer every question that comes in, and I can’t promise to answer any of them in a timely manner, but I will… no, I can’t promise that either. Let me think… I will definitely, without fail, respond to at least some of them when it’s convenient. That’s my solemn promise to you.

Here are some of my areas of expertise, and some sample questions you could ask:

- Relationships (Should I break up with my boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancé/stalker/dental hygienist?)

- Science (What would happen if the sun and Earth switched places, and should we prepare for this anytime soon?)

- Parenting (What’s up with these rotten kids, and how can I get them to behave?)

- Law (How long will I go to jail if I strangle these rotten kids?)

- History (Do you think I’ll pass my History exam next week?)

- Finance (If I want to contribute to the Buy Brian a New Truck Fund, where should I send the money?)

- Woodchucks (Can they in fact chuck wood, and if so, how much?)

So fire away! I stand ready to give silly reliable answers to your stupid important questions.


  1. All right, I'll go first....
    Brace yourself... it's a doozie:
    Best book you've ever read?
    (I know, right? It's deep.)

  2. That's an excellent question, flameinside!

    I will break from my typical sarcasm and give you a completely sincere answer because good books are something I strongly believe in. But my answer is so long, I’m going to devote an entirely new static page to it. Please go to the “Best Books” tab above.

  3. I've got another question. Let's roll:
    What's the meaning of life?

    I actually like asking this to people I interview. Or equally deep philosophical questions (cue the chicken/egg or chicken/road question here). I think the answer says a lot. So... 1...2...3.....GO!

    1. Sadly, theflameinside seems to have left the blogosphere. I don't know what she's doing now, but I can't blame her if she simply needed an extended break, because I found myself unable/unwilling to write for about a year and just recently came back.

      But I regret not answering this question. I think one way we give life meaning is by connecting with other people--in our families especially, but also with friends near and far. I never met the lady behind The Flame Inside blog, but I considered her my friend. And I fear my life is just a wee bit less meaningful because of my failure to follow up with her these past several months.

      Hope you're okay, flame!

  4. Brian - I've nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. Because if anyone deserves, it you do.

  5. Thanks so much, Guapola! To use a term I know you're fond of, that nomination is smothered in awesomesauce.

  6. I have a question:
    What on Earth (or anywhere, really) is a Kwyjibo?

  7. ...and then it occurred to me google it.
    I am such a bozo...

  8. Thank goodness for Google, eh Guapo? Since it knows everything, it always finds answers for my toughest questions. Plus, it just saved me the 2 or 3 minutes required to answer yours, about the kwyjibo. Of course, that was negated when I chose to reply anyway (Doh!), but you know what I mean.

  9. We haven't heard from you in almost a month! (Sniffle.) When you come back, will you be "Now with 100% more mustache?" I think the word mustachios might just be one of my favorite words ever, btw. I have a cousin who has mutton chops, and that's pretty cool, too. 'Kay, done rambling now...

  10. Yeah, I got a question, tough guy.
    Everything alright on your side of the world?
    Long time no hear. Hope you and the family are all well.

    1. Is this too late to reply? I was fine... am fine. The whole fam is, too. I was feeling kind of un-bloggy for about a year. Now I'm back. Thanks for your concern!