More DIY Tips

If you've been following this blog since the beginning (and you have an excellent memory), you might recall that years ago I sometimes gave ideas for saving money on car repairs. I've collected some more pictures to share with you, of cars that people care about just enough to attempt repairs, without actually spending any money.

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Mirror coming loose? Or maybe broken off when you parked a bit too close to that tree? Not to worry, and don't go spending tens of dollars on a replacement! This can be fixed with a little crafting glue... or better yet, a lot of it. For added security, drive a few drywall screws right through the mirror, into the car door. Voila!

Here's a sweet looking Saturn with a rear bumper that had trouble staying on. Did its do-it-yourself owner waste lots time and money on it? Of course not! He's wise enough to know all that's needed is a bungee strap.

The front bumper is also loose, but this guy knows it would be a waste of valuable duct tape to secure it before it actually falls off...

At the corners, however, you kind of have to anchor down your body panels. You know what's great about C-clamps? They work for temporarily holding pieces together--like when glue is drying in the shop, but they can also be used for permanent repairs. Fast, easy, and totally secure! As long as the tire still clears, I don't see why you'd go with any other method.

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My next tip isn't about DIY repairs, but how to tell when your car might be a beater.

Here's a picture of the right front fender on my sweet Kia minivan. (I'm serious. This is actually my van.) A while back, someone decided to use a key or rock or something to scratch up the paint. Whoever did this has some artistic talent, and didn't just make a long straight scratch, but a nifty little zig-zag.

Not only did I not get too upset when I noticed it, but I thought it kind of adds a nice touch. I considered duplicating the pattern on the other fender, but I'm afraid I would not get it right. When you see minor vandalism in this way, it's possible that your car is a beater.

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That's all for now. Remember, if a repair job's worth doing, it's worth doing using only what's in your junk drawer, in about five minutes. In the dark.

Mr. Productivity

It's been about a week since I wrote anything here, but I haven't exactly been goofing off. On the contrary, I got all kinds of stuff done lately. It's as if my last name were Workerton, and my first name, Workie.

I did stuff in the yard:

See that in-ground faucet? It wasn't there before. I had to dig pretty deep for the pipe it attaches to. After finishing the installation, I turned on the supply valve, and it worked! No leaks. Water comes out when I turn on the faucet, and stops when I turn it off. Success! Oh, one little thing though... another faucet that I recently installed in a different part of the yard used to work, but now it doesn't. Where's the emoticon for a puzzled look and head scratching? Pipes are tricky!

I played appliance repairman with our washing machine, which recently went on the fritz. (Whatever "the fritz" is, lots of things at our place seem to go on it.)

I had almost every part of this unit out, and somehow managed to get it all back together. And it works! Washes clothes again. Rinses and spins them too. And there are no leaks. After finishing this job, I only had a few screws left over. Obviously they were extra and unneeded, like your appendix. I'm pretty much a genius with electronic and mechanical things, and I (usually) save a fortune by not calling in the professionals. That digital multimeter isn't just there to look good in the picture. Okay, that's largely why it's there, but I did use it once during the repair process.

My neighbor was installing tile in his kitchen this weekend, so I went over and helped with that. We did pretty good, for amateurs.

It looks like wood, but it's actually ceramic tile. Cool, huh?

I'm definitely NOT a genius with tile, so I wanted to get some experience (in someone else's house, hehe!). I like learning new skills.

For the biggest job of all, I spent some time in the garage. There's a problem with the clutch on my old Ford pickup, so the transmission had to come out. Here's the truck:

And here's the transmission:

Notice that the two are now completely separated--proof I was successful. I did this alone, with no help at all. I do not recommend this method. If you're considering removing a transmission, take my advice and get a friend to join in the fun. It's much less exciting that way, and excitement isn't something you need in your garage. During this operation, I invented several new swear words, never before spoken by man. Please don't remind me that removal is the easy part, and I still need to put this back in. I'll nearly destroy cross that bridge when I come to it. Hopefully I will not end up with too many extra bolts.

A guy can't just work all the time though, can he? Sunday we had lots of family and friends over, and we cooked out. I grilled burgers, hot dogs, and chicken kabobs, and also made a huge batch of Dutch oven potatoes.

Thin sliced potatoes + bacon + cheese + 1.5 hrs in an iron pot = culinary bliss.

I must have not used enough charcoal, because these took forever to cook. When they eventually got done, they were delicious. I guess that's a win.

So you could say I'm pretty handy around the house. Fixing things and building things... even cooking things sometimes. I don't do it perfectly, but I can do it all.

Now, for my next project...

I Parked Next to Oscar the Grouch's Car Today

In an earlier post, I showed you how someone saved money by doing his own car body repairs.

Today, I saw a car that someone is using to save on trash collection bills. Like a sucker, I’ve been putting my old drink cups, banana peels, junk mail, and other refuse into the trash can, which gets emptied—for a fee—once a week (provided I remember to drag it to the curb). This guy just throws everything into his Ford Tempo, saving time and money. I presume it accumulates until he can no longer see over the top of it, at which time he only has to open the passenger doors in the Wal-Mart parking lot, letting it all cascade to the ground.

He must be filthy rich.

Rain water and glare make this a crummy shot, so you'll just
have to take my word that the entire car is filled with trash.

It looks like a win-win situation: there’s still plenty of room for him in the driver’s seat, he has a perfect excuse to refuse giving rides to friends (where would they sit?), and he never has to go looking for a wastebasket, dumpster, or recycling bin. As an added bonus, he’ll never have to worry about women trying to go on a date with him… or talk to him… or even stand within 20 feet of him.

To my wife and kids: After seeing this, I apologize for all the times I’ve gotten on your case over a few gum wrappers or a video rental receipt in the minivan, and I promise to lighten up from now on.

DIY and Save Thousands

Okay, so far all I've written here is dry, introductory stuff. Now it's time for something fun and very practical...

Do-it-yourself auto body tips, illustrated with pictures I took outside my friend's apartment this morning.

To fix a damaged bumper, all you need is some duct tape and spray paint.

- Be sure to apply enough layers of tape to restore the structural integrity, and try to smooth out any big wrinkles.

- After taping, apply a coat of Krylon or Rust-Oleum approximately the same color as the original paint. (If the original paint is severely oxidized, you have some flexibility.)

That's all there is to it! From half a mile away, nobody can tell it was ever wrecked. (Although you should probably show the car to potential buyers only at night.) You can use a similar process on torn headliners, broken tail lights, and possibly even flat tires. For repairs under the hood (like a ruptured radiator hose or fuel line), use premium quality, high-temp duct tape, because any job worth doing is worth doing right.