Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Somebody Call Henny Penny!

Many moons ago, I posted a tip for you, my loyal readers, about a weather forecast that called for a 99% chance of space junk showers. Whenever something like this happens, I don't feel the mainstream media are effective at encouraging us all to freak out, so I do my part in that effort.

Well, folks, it's officially panic time again! All kinds of stuff is falling from the sky. Consider the following:

- Last week, we were warned by NASA (or whoever it is that warns us about this stuff) that a gigantic asteroid would pass by at frighteningly low altitude. I think they predicted it would not actually impact the ground, but they told people who live in high-rise apartments to stay off the roof that day, and suggested NBA players should be ready to duck. Thank goodness their calculations were right, and we didn't go the way of the dinosaurs. However...

- On that same day, a gigantic meteor exploded over some little Russian town, busting all the windows and Vodka bottles. The experts say this was totally unrelated to the asteroid, and it's purely coincidental that they came blasting toward Earth at the same time. Right, I'll buy that!

- About this same time, gigantic spiders from space started raining down in Brazil. (Okay, so maybe they weren't gigantic, but there were millions of them. And I'll admit I made up the part about them coming from space, but come on... seems pretty obvious, given the context here.) Click this to read the details as reported by Utah's quaint, semi-professional news outlet, KSL.

These are just three examples, but I'm sure there are many more. I'm really going to regret spending money last Fall to have new shingles put on our roof if they now get torn up by a bombardment of, I don't know, Martian missiles or something. Please be vigilant, people. Keep your eyes on the sky, and let me know if it starts falling over your city.

1 comment:

  1. I just want to get an accurate prediction of when cash is going to fall from the sky (in a form other than that of a $20 billion satellite) like in the lottery commercials.