Five days ago, I wrote a list of things I really like. Now, to keep the universe in balance, I'll give you my dislikes. Again, in no particular order:
Rosie O'Donnell
Most rap music
Soggy bread
Clowns
Barbershop quartets
Tomatoes
Crappy American cars from the 1970s and early '80s
"The Age of Aquarius" by 5th Dimension
"White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane
All stupid hippie music
Infomercials, and most anything they sell
Aggressive drivers
Sean Penn
Filthy, obese women who shop at Wal-Mart in pajamas and ridiculous house slippers
Paper cuts
You might notice that I didn't create any hyperlinks in this list. That's because...
1) To get the URLs I'd have to search for this stuff, and I don't want any of it on my computer screen, even for a few seconds.
2) Links would only tempt you to click and check out pictures, videos, etc. of my most hated stuff. I don't want to feed visitors to any of this stuff. I hope it all goes away forever.
...
I also thought of a few things I want to add to the LIKES list:
A bed with warm covers and a cold pillow
BMW motorcycles, past and present
Pee-Wee Herman (Don't judge me!)
The Bullwinkle and Rocky Show
Good books of all kinds
Amanda Peet
Cheese
...
If you agree with me on any or all of these, leave a comment. If you disagree, definitely leave a comment. If you have no opinion, but you just feel like leaving a comment, by all means...
Rosie O'Donnell should get an award - she makes a lot of lists like this.
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with tomatoes?
Just stupid hippie music, or cool hippie music too, like Incense and Peppermints by Strawberry Alarm Clock?
Sean Penn? Is there a good story behind that one?
I think of all the entries on the list, paper cuts will get the most unequivocal agreement.
And I see at the bottom of the likes addendum, you added cheese.
You're such a fromageaphile.
I'll give her an award for biggest waste of oxygen.
ReplyDeleteThey disgust me. Make me want to vomit. But only when eaten fresh, like in a salad or hamburger. I can eat them in cooked dishes.
I guess it was redundant to say "stupid hippie music." I could have left out the "stupid." Hate it ALL!
Sean Penn? Nope, no story. I just think he's second only to Rosie in wasting oxygen. As far as I'm concerned the two of them can go somewhere and eat soggy tomato sandwiches together while listening to "Mellow Yellow" by Donovan, in a 1974 Gremlin.
Probably nobody will argue on the paper cuts. I gotta include at least one safe pick.
Fromageaphile, yes! As Ned Flanders would say, I'm Guil-diddly-ilty as char-diddly-arged.
"Sean Penn? Nope, no story. I just think he's second only to Rosie in wasting oxygen. As far as I'm concerned the two of them can go somewhere and eat soggy tomato sandwiches together while listening to "Mellow Yellow" by Donovan, in a 1974 Gremlin."
ReplyDeleteGlad I wasn't drinking anything when I read this.
I wonder if it would fit on a business card. And what I'd be selling if I was....