Dog Day Off, Platypus Plays the Keytar, etc.

This post is sort of like those weekly grab bags that I used to do about once a month. Except there's no real theme to it, unless you count "unrelated funny stuff that I've come across lately." Lots of kids would say this post is really random, but I won't say that. (Please leave random alone! The poor word is so badly overworked and abused... Please let it rest!)

First off, an entry in Stuff George Carlin Said:

"What do dogs do on their day off? They can't lay around; that's their job."

I heard this and thought, Yeah, he's right. And then, Oh, to be a dog!

This is Cooper, our goldendoodle:

Guardian, protector, and supervisor of all canine tasks, ready to spring into action.

He has zero responsibilities in our household. His food, shelter, and entertainment are provided, free of charge. If he wants to run around or wrestle, he can. (This doesn't happen very often, because he is remarkably lazy). If he wants to sleep 18 hours a day, he can do that. (His usual tendency.) When he gets bored, he watches out the window and barks at our neighbors as they come and go from their own houses, or at innocent passers-by.

Occasionally I say to myself, "Self, maybe Cooper needs to get out for some exercise. It's important for dogs to get plenty of exercise. Let's take him jogging. It'll be good for him." I am not a big runner. In fact, I hate to run. Since it's supposedly good for me too, I've been known to jog once in a while. I say this to give you some perspective on my level of conditioning. Cooper cannot even keep up with me! Our Brittany, Kipper, used to pull me along with the leash, and my wife could skate uphill on her roller blades using him for propulsion. When I take Cooper, I have to pull him. So much for "Dogs need plenty of exercise."

We really should give Cooper a day off once in a while. I just don't know what he'd do with it.

...

I love Venn diagrams. I can't explain this. I like all kinds of charts and graphs, but especially well-designed Venns. I recently encountered one that made me laugh uncontrollably. (I admit I was in a goofy mood at the time.)

Words can only detract from the awesomeness of this diagram.

To me, this is funny on so many levels. If you don't find it funny, I'm not sure I want you around me. If you do, we could probably be best friends. Come up with a Venn better than this, and you will win tremendous respect and admiration from me! I don't know where this originated, but I found it at Leisurefest Destiny, a blog filled with hilarious, sometimes amazing, and sometimes just bizarre pics and vids.

...

One more insanely funny thing that Leisurefest Destiny turned me onto is Flula, a German dude who puts videos on YouTube about his confusion with American idioms. LD reposted the one about Jennifer pooping at parties, but there are lots of other good ones. This is my favorite: