Dads and Daughters

I've written quite a bit about my only son, Caleb. That's mostly because he gives me so much great material, stuff too good to keep to myself.


But I also have three wonderful daughters, and this weekend we got to spend some time together.


Last night, Sarah (whom I call Josie) and I slept out in our trailer. It was a wet, chilly, blustery night, in other words, typical November Utah weather. But that's okay, because the trailer has a good built-in heater. It also has AC outlets, so we took a little TV and DVD player out and watched movies until we fell asleep. (Before that, we enjoyed some pizza, sodas, and candy bars.) It was just like camping!

Like camping, but with pizza, movies,
and indoor plumbing 100 feet away.

This morning, Keely, Lydia, and I went to a Daddy-Daughter activity at the church. We had a nice breakfast and made little glass snowman ornaments. Who says dads can't be crafty? It was fun, and hopefully something they'll remember for a long time. (Ensuring this was kind of the point of the ornaments, so I wrote little messages on their backs.)*

The nice thing about these girls is they're pretty
enough to attract the attention of princes, but they
don't mind hanging out with their goofball dad.

* The ornaments' backs, not the girls'

I'm Like the Octomom

Check out the tab right above here called “Ask Me Anything.” That page is now all set up! I know, you were on the edge of your seat waiting for it, right?

If blog pages were babies, I’d be that lady in California who gave birth to a whole litter a few years ago.

Please check out “Ask Me Anything,” and I’ll keep making more pages until my womb is empty. (I'm trying to keep up with El Guapo, and that dude has pages for everything! Surfboard and guitar pictures, music, adminisilliness... he's got it all covered. He even has a page about my Bozo List page; how am I supposed to compete with that?)


By the way, if you have something to ask on "Ask Me Anything," you'll have to post it in a comment or email it to me. Unsure how to do these things? You can ask about that too, and I'll gladly walk you through it.

A Simple Christmas Wish

Over the past few months, I’ve often shared things our resident 4 year old, Caleb, said. (Like here, and here, and also here.)

Here’s another gem from him. He told us his Christmas wish the other night. Can you guess what he wants?

It isn’t world peace. (Enough kids are already wishing for that, so I’m sure it will come this year.)

It isn’t a baby brother. (That’s a good thing, because one of those is definitely not coming.)

Here are his exact words:

   “All I want for Christmas is TOYS.”

He has never been intimidated into shunning materialism, and he’s nothing if not honest.

Thank you for making our job easy, Caleb. Now we don’t have to fret over whether to get you socks, office supplies, or delicious vegetables. “Oh hold on, Celeste… cancel that donation in Caleb’s name to the starving widows’ fund. He says he prefers toys.” Thankfully, that’s exactly what Santa’s elves specialize in.

A Nose You Could Hang a Raincoat From

Just a quick post today to share a picture of a little fellow who made me smile when I saw him in a bathroom stall.

I'll call him Pinocchio!

Also, check out the latest additions to The Bozo List. (Click the tab above.)

10 November Edit:

Check this out, folks. I shot that picture yesterday, published it here this morning, and tonight saw a remarkably similar one, posted by my friend on Facebook:

What is it with all these silly coat hooks, and how many more of them will surface?

Don't Be a Bozo, Check Out the New Page

Hey, folks! Look at the tabs near the top of this page, just above what you're reading right now. The one called "The Bozo List" now has some actual content, i.e., words that I typed. I think you'll like it, but just to be sure, you'd better give it a read and then leave some comments, 'kay?


The other pages will be up soon, cross my heart!

Early Morning Booty Call From My Sister-In-Law

My lovely wife has sisters scattered all over the country, and she often talks on the phone with them.

Recently, she got a call from one of them at about 7:00 A.M., when we were just starting to wake up. I didn’t hear what they talked about, but it was a very short conversation.

Later, she told me her sister had somehow called by mistake, and it might have been something she terms a 'butt call.'

I said, “A what?” and got ready for an explanation that’s either very interesting or totally confusing. I was a little scared to hear what she meant by 'butt call.'

She clarified: A butt call is what happens when you put the phone in the back pocket of your jeans and your butt pushes the buttons, unintentionally calling someone.

“Oh, of course,” I said, “...but people already have a name for this. It’s a ‘booty call.’”

She insisted this is not what’s meant by 'booty call,' but I know I’m right; butt and booty are synonymous.

I just can’t figure out why we got so many strange looks at church on Sunday when I asked her if she’s had any more early morning booty calls. People need to mind their own business.

… 

Here’s Munchausen by Proxy, featuring the always delightful Zooey Deschanel, who declares in song, “I’m not your late night booty call.” (Apparently, she has friends who aren't careful with their phones.)

Beware: Deadly, Slithering Invaders

It's been several weeks since I last alerted you, my loyal readers, to any horrifying threats to our survival. Always vigilant, I now must call your attention to a story featured on the KSL news website today. Before clicking on the link below, be warned that it's guaranteed to give you the willies:

Incredibly Creepy News Story

Yes, it seems hordes (four so far) of baby rattlesnakes (they're even deadlier than the adults!) are infesting a building on the campus of Weber State University. Folks, this is where I go to school! I'm there at least two days a week, and I find this situation UNACCEPTABLE.

It's really no surprise that we have a snake epidemic, because the campus is right on the foothills of some rugged mountains, and it has suddenly gotten chilly here. What I want to know is just this: What are they doing about this frightening problem? The story mentions some vague plans to bring in reptile experts and inspect the building. It doesn't say anything about immediately burning that place to the ground, along with all the surrounding structures in a 200 foot radius, which I feel would be an appropriate response.

Even more shocking is the earlier story, linked within the Weber State one, about a house in Idaho that's infested with hundreds, perhaps even thousands of snakes. What is it with these evil, venomous, legless creatures trying to take over the planet? Rise up, fellow mammals, and take back our homes, our schools, and our cities!

Note: In case it isn't obvious, I've taken a sarcastic tone for much of this post. But I do think they should burn that building.