Monday, August 29, 2011

A Blogger is Born!

Hello, friends, followers, and insomniacs who’ve nearly reached the end of the internet. With this post I am officially a blogger! My name is Brian R. Christensen, but you may call me B.C., Brian the Kwyjibo, or That guy with the incredibly brilliant blog. You may also call me with offers for nice, high-paying technical writing jobs.*(see footnote)

If you are reading this, you’re probably one of the following:

1)     A fellow student in Mali Subbiah’s ENGL 4100 class, and required to follow me as part of our blogging assignment.

2)     Someone who needs a little help with Google and was searching for information about Hans Christian Andersen or that kid who played Anakin Skywalker. Or maybe a brine recipe for your Christmas turkey?

3)     My wife. (Thanks for reading my blog, Cupcake. If you could do it about twelve million more times, my stats will be phenomenal!)

I see this blog as a way for me to join the worldwide online conversation as an active contributor, regardless of whether I have anything substantial to add—in other words, it’s my virtual “Big Gulps, huh?” I also hope it will help me get a decent grade in my class at Weber State University. And ideally, I’d like to use it to touch the heart of some lonely kindred spirit. But mainly, that thing about getting a good grade.

Here is what’s in store for you if you return regularly:

1)     Witty observations about stuff I find on the internet, in the real world, and often, just inside my head. (That last one is a place that’s pretty fun but kind of silly and usually overcrowded.)

2)     Unbiased reviews of books, movies, music, consumer products, places I visit, and maybe the occasional hairstyle. Scratch that—it will be decidedly biased. Expect opinionated, unbalanced, and probably unfair remarks. This is my little corner of the blogosphere, so why shouldn’t I make the rules?

3)     Cool pictures I shoot. You know, stuff like neat looking animals, my kids, wildflowers, etc. I am secure enough in my manhood to admit I love wildflowers. Since a picture is worth 1,000 words, when I don’t feel like typing I’ll just put up a couple paragraphs worth of digital images.

4)     Something that one of my favorite bloggers, Jenny Lawson, calls “blogging about blogging.” I mean, people like to write about what’s new in their lives, right? Well, this is what’s new for me. [pointing at the screen as I create the site you’re reading right now]

5)     Occasionally, some really corny jokes. The kind that involve cannibals and clowns, or an embarrassed tomato. I know… you can hardly wait for those!

6)     Whatever else spews forth from the wellspring of awesomeness that is my brain.

I bet you're thinking This is so original! Like no one else has ever written about this stuff, eh? Just give it a chance, whydontcha?

Please comment, pass a link along to your friends (or your enemies, depending on your opinion of what I’ve done here), and return often.

Alright... Well, see ya later!

A Ten-Lined June Beetle (Polyphylla decemlineata)

My Girls, Easter 2011

Pretty, huh?

* High-paying technical writing jobs. Obviously, this blog is meant to be rather tongue-in-cheek.**(see footnote to this footnote) But seriously, I possess almost super-human writing skills, and hiring me would be perhaps the wisest move you’ve ever made.

** This is what we technical writers type instead of LOL or a semicolon and right parentheses.


  1. Hey, what a cool blog! Before this came along, I couldn't find any worthwhile uses for the internet. But now, it seems like all I do is watch for updates here. Please add more posts soon, because I LOVE reading them!

    Alright, you got me. This is Brian. And I've just done what's known as "Seeding the Comments."

    Now it's your turn.

  2. So far so good - but it better be entertaining! Otherwise I'll just have my daughter move over on the couch and go back to watching SpongeBob!

  3. Oh, don't worry, Wayno. It WILL be entertaining. If it isn't, please say so, and I'll add more silly cannibal jokes.